Text Files Defined

Format Rules

Search Suggestions
DARWIN CANDIDATE: These files are the traditional jokes about people who do stupid things. This includes Blond Jokes and Ethnic Jokes. TOP of Page They are written in a standard story format. All references to "blonde" or specific ethnic groups may have been removed and Darwin Candidate substituted. Most of these jokes are passed around with different perps depending on who is telling the story and who they are telling them to. You might want to try entering a key word in the text field. If it is mentioned in the body of the item, you will get a "hit."
DEFINITIONS: These files contain twisted or skewed meanings, as well as invented words you will not find in the dictionary. There are a few serious entries. TOP of Page The title will be in the format "Define (word)". To see the definition, you must call up the individual record. Since we are not running a dictionary here, most of the definitions will be twisted or humorous. You will not be able to easily search for the word being defined. You may call up the entire category and then alphabetize by title.
DOCUMENTS: These files consist of famous speeches, historical documents, national anthems, and other textual items of a historical significance.
ELEPHANT JOKES: These jokes are usually in riddle format - asking a question. While purporting to support common sense, this form of humor defies logic. TOP of Page The jokes are written in a question and answer format. It is assumed that the person being questioned will not have an answer or answer incorrectly. The title of the item is the entire question. To see the answer, you must call up the individual record. Some of these items are intended to be asked in a sequence. When this is the case, those items are combined in one record.
FAMOUS PEOPLE: This database includes birth and death dates, present age or age at death, and a short description of their claim to fame. Selecting individual record file from the search list will take you to a page that gives you a short textual biography and a date ordered list of important dates in that persons life. This section interfaces with the HISTORICAL EVENTS database. You can select to search only certain professions. Use the "Full Name" field to search individuals with one name. If you do not know the correct spelling of a name, you can use the "Begins With" or "Ends With" critera. Remember less specific searches will mean more hits.
HALLOWEEN JOKES: These are jokes, riddles, and items pertaining to scary stuff. Some of it might be appropriate for other times of the year, if you want scary stuff. TOP of Page Many of the items are written in RIDDLE format (i.e. question and answer) and some of the items are stories. If you are looking for specific items (witches, goblins, ghosts, etc.) you should type those items in "Text Content". Don't forget to narrow your search by selecting "Level".
HISTORICAL EVENTS: This database includes important dates in history. TOP of Page The entry is very short and does not contain a lot of specific information. You can look events by month, day, year, and type. You can genrate lists to impress students and staff about what happened in history in your particular field of study on this day. All hits will be arranged in chronological order by date. Because the entries are short, there will be no looking at individual records, just at the hit list.
JOURNAL PROMPTS: These entries can range from sentence fragments to kick start a journal entry to a embellished commentary to start the writing process. TOP of Page All prompts are presented in full on the "View Record List" page. You may then capture the text from the web page and use it to make up journal assignment sheets.
Some journal prompts will have suggested uses. These may include readings in advance or information on topics to spur the thought process. Also, pictures will be added to encourage emotional responses.
KNOCK KNOCK JOKES: These jokes are mostly a form of PUN. TOP of Page The title will be in the format "Knock Knock - (name)". The text follows a definite format (Knock Knock, Who's there?, etc.). Sometimes there are more than one answer and they are listed. Some were hard to determine the intended pun and those are included in (parentheses). If you are looking for a specific name, select "Knock Knock" and search for the name in the "Title" or "Text Content" field.
LIGHT BULB JOKES: These jokes are in a separate category because we did not want them infecting our other categories. TOP of Page
LIMERICKS: Over time, Limericks have gotten the reputation of being very dirty. There are clean and cute Limericks here. TOP of Page XXX rated limericks will not be found in our database, but we do carry some suggestive material. If you wish to avoid any adult material, do you searches with only the levels you wish to view. Do not select "Adult Only"!
LISTS: These lists are intended to be humorous. If the title forms the first part of each item (i.e. "You may be from the South if...", each item will start with three periods (...) to indicate a continuance. If each item can stand alone, it starts with a hyphen (-).
PARODY: These items poke fun at cultural icons. It could be Dr. Seuss, computers, songs, Presidents, etc. The format of the file depends on the item.
POETRY: This is not meant to be a poetry resource, but you will see short poems fit for cards or embellishing essays.
TOP of Page		 When a title is not known for a poem, the first sentence is used. In short poems, the entire poem will appear in the title field.
PROVERBS: These are time tested adages originating in different cultures. Many have application today and some are outdated.
TOP of Page		 The name of the country of origin is included in the body of the Proverb. When more than one country has the same or very similar proverb, all are listed. Subtle changes in wording is indicated. CAUTION: The meaning of some Proverbs is sometimes obscure and some are obscene by todays standards. You can search by country using the "Text Content" field.

Soon you will be able to type in "Keywords". The "Subject" search is limited to general categories and this search will be more specific.
PUNS: A pun is a play upon words and their meanings.
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QUIZ: Sometimes a series of questions can lead us to a particular outcome.
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QUOTES: Famous people say famous things and sometimes famous sayings may people famous. There are words of wisdom and whimsy.
TOP of Page		 Formal quotation marks are not used unless the quoter is in turn quoting another. Titles with a series of three periods indicate there is more information in the individual record. All quotes are attributed to an individual, publication, or anonymous source at the bottom with two paragraph returns and a hyphen. You may search by author in the "Text Content" field. Please be aware of proper spelling and use of nicknames (i.e. Mark Twain = Samuel Clemens). You will be able to search for specific quotes by "Keyword" in the near future.
RIDDLES: These questions are intended to stump the person attempting to respond. The answer can range from simplistic to silly.
TOP of Page		 Most Riddles are in the form of a question and answer. The title of the item is the entire question. To see the answer, you must call up the individual record. You may search for specific topics by using the "Title" or "Text Content" fields.
STORIES: These items usually have a who, when, where quality and are formatted with a beginning, middle and end.
TOP of Page		 Titles are formated in the tradition of newspaper article titles. They may not be complete sentences, but they will give you some idea of the content of the story.

Paragraphs are indicated by two returns. You may capture the text and reformat it to meet your needs.

 Searching across these items is difficult
TEXT GENERATOR: This search will find records through all categories of text files except "Biography", "Journal Prompts", "Holiday", and "Event"
TOP of Page		 These items can range from humor to sacred documents. This search is good for finding items across all the different types offered. The strength of this search is by your ability to find all text files on a certain subject.

Soon you will be able to type in "Keywords". The "Subject" search is limited to general categories and this search will be more specific.
TONGUE TWISTERS: Although these items are meant to frustrate the most literate among us, they are also used to help students with speech difficulties.
TOP of Page		 Some of these items have potential for encouraging suggestive or outright obscene responses. We have done our best to call these to your attention. BEWARE we only know English.
TRIVIA: These are little known facts that may amaze us and make us want to know more.
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ABOUT SERIAL NUMBERS: Each record in the "Biography", "Text", "Journal Prompts", "Holiday", and "Event" databases have a unique assigned serial number. All serial numbers are generated in sequential order. You may search for items entered before or after a particular item by using the > greater than or < less than symbols. You may have items you wish to return to without searching through lots of records. You can enter the Serial Number only to access one record or you may use the "Not Equals", "Less Than", or "Greater Than" criteria to find a range of serial numbers.
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